Crash!

Friends,

It is with post traumatic stress that I bring you the news that your faithful writer and her fighting partner almost died last week. We were on our way down to  have a good ole time in the sunshine state of Florida. It was early, and Kelley and I had been out LATE the night before dancing. BTW- I might have met a cutie for the books but I’ll let you know how that all pans out. Funny enough, Kelley lost her phone that evening and I dropped mine in the toilet. We should have seen all the signs.

So after picking up Kelley and causing my entire family to wait for me we set out on the long road. It began to rain. Another bad sign. We kept going. I told you before that Kelley and I have had some crazy adventures. In a way, it was always a kind of bad luck. We would go on a seemingly harmless expedition and next hing you know, money goes missing or someone gets hurts and what should have been silly fun has turned into a serious offense. It had been quite some time since our bad luck had caught up with us so I took this to mean that we had grown out of our childish ways, had learned to make good decisions. I should have seen it as a sign that we were in for a BIG one.

I was driving in the right lane. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a silver thing come near my front right corner. I remember hearing Kelley say “Whoa.” I veered to the left to avoid getting hurt. We ran off the road.  When I tried to get the car back in the lane we swung crazily to the right. I over corrected and we spun left. I don’t know how many times we went back and forth. Kelley told me later that she told me to not to swerve and I shook my head and said,”I have no control.”

The tires must have caught the water on the road and we began to spin. Three or Four times- round and round. We moved closer to the median. I distinctly recall heading for it. At that point, a strange feeling came over me. I thought I was going to die. I breathed in and out, then I gripped the sterring wheel to brace myself. Even though I was holding on tight and my body tensed, I realized that I had completely let go of life and was prepared to die.

Later that day, after we had all been to the hospital and cleaned up in the hotel room, I rode in the backseat as we continued on our way. Listening to music and letting my mind wander, I realized that if I had died that day, I would have died happy. The feeling overwhelmed me, almost more than the crash. For the first time ever, I have no regrets. I feel directed, hopeful, successful. Even though I am not really any different than I was about a year ago, I have accomplished things I never believed I could, and more importantly, I learned how to believe in myself and love myself.

Of course, I had to almost die to realize how alive I am finally. Oh the irony!

I just wish the people I loved weren’t in the car when it happened. And I wish I hadn’t over-corrected. And I wish that car hadn’t tried to run me off the road.

But it’s okay, because we are all alive and well and I have another day to tell you my stories…